Politics from My Father

By Zach Foster

Politics from My Father is a series of anecdotes of things my dad has said that actually apply to current events.

“You know, you might think on doing the dishes tonight.  You might think REAL heavily on that,” said my father.  “Real, REAL heavily…”

“Oh, you mean the same way I do during the week, like, every day?”

My father rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re a slave.  Quit cryin’, Cinderella.”

“Dad, it’s alright,” I replied, “I’m happy to do the dishes.  Hell, I live here for free; doing the dishes seems like a fine rent trade-off to me.”

“Yeah, you think you’re safe and secure, but just wait.  I’ve been keeping an Excel spreadsheet on you since the day you were born.  I’ll have a surprise for YOU when you move out.”  He laughed maniacally and my mom smacked him on the arm.  “What?” he asked indignantly.  “Just wait; I’ll file a class-action civil suit on behalf of all parents against the youth of the nation.  Oh no, wait—we already did this with the national deficit.”